I think this is how church easter egg hunt functions need to work:
- Children and parents gather in a common area indoors, where they can see someone dressed as the easter bunny running around "cleverly hiding" the brightly colored plastic eggs in the lawn. The eggs are hidden in a pretty obvious trail leading around the property, to keep everyone mostly following them in a line around the back side of the building.
- The kids are lined up, given some sugar so they have a taste for the stuff before they get going, and then somebody yells "GO!" at the top of their lungs.
- The kids bolt for the plastic eggs, frantically scrambling for candy and whatever, working their way around the back of the building.
- The easter bunny leaps out from behind a shrub and starts angrily squealing at the kids when they round a corner, then tries to get the eggs back.
- When the kids have been chased halfway back to the starting point, a hobo dressed as Jesus climbs up from a hole in the yard, probably yelling something about "i have risen," and then gets in an epic battle with the bunny. Depending on budget, Jesus could unload a starter pistol at the bunny, whose chest is loaded with squibs. Bunny dies an overdramatic death. Jesus saves the day and the kids get to keep their candy! If a starter pistol and fake gunshot wounds are beyond the budget, they could just get in some kind of kung-fu fight instead. Same results. Maybe Jesus could snap the bunny's neck, Bruce Lee style.
I am confident that this is exactly the right way to make those easter egg hunt things not suck.
Now I need to start a church. Who's in?